"We raise our white flag, we surrender, all to you, all to you,
Lord...."

 

I first heard this song on a friends facebook page (Thanks Kel) last
week, and we sang it in church on Sunday, and I think it is going to
be my theme song for the year....

On Monday we went to get Josie's innocent heart murmur checked out,
well at least we thought it was just a innocent heart murmur....But,
in all reality...Our precious little one, has a rare heart defect (so
rare that this is the first time the cardiologist has seen it in his
20 years of practice).The defect is correctable, but correctable
probably only by surgery... the doctor believes it is going to require
Josie to under go open heart surgery before the summer.

I do not even know what more to type, last night I spent the night
sleeping next to the Joster bed, praying that when I would wake up,
this would just be a bad dream, but its not....

Our next steps..
1. they took an ultra sound of Josie's heart, and she did great for
about 30 minutes ,but are not sure if the images that received were
adequate, so we might have to have her sedated for another ultrasound,
we will know that this week.
2. We start Josie on a medication, because her heart is enlarged
because of the defect. The medication, is supposed to manage the
enlargement.
3. We will meet with a surgeon at DeVos to see if he is able to
conduct the surgery, and to see what our level of confidence is in
him.....He was recruited by DeVos this last year from England, but we
still want the very best for our Josie, so we might need to travel to
Ann Arbor, or Detroit for the surgery. I just need to know that this
Dr. has done a few surgeries like Josie's before, even though it is so
rare....

The Cardiologist reinforced yesterday that this is correctable, and
very likely after this is repaired, Josie will go on to live a
productive life...But, does not take away the fact that I am scared to
death that my baby, is going to have to have major extensive surgery,
where I have to put her life in the hands of a team of surgeons, for a
long enduring surgery....

I will probably start a blog, just so people have a place to go to get
the post up to date info, but right now...We are trying to be strong.
When Josie woke up in the middle of the night last night, I was so
thankful, for the extra time that I had to hug her and love on her, I
was crying, and she just was laughing, and giggling at me, not what
she usually does for her middle of the night feedings, but I think she
just needed her mama to know, that she is going to be alright...

I have attached part of the write that I wrote about Josie's name
after her birth, one of my co-workers that I greatly admire from
Bethany(Love you Dena!)  told me about the importance and the power of the name you
place on your child, Andrew and I thought long and hard about Josie's
name and her meaning....I find it quite a sign from God, that Josie's
name means that HE will enlarge the world...Her heart is enlarged
now, but my hope is that GOD will enlarge the capacity of others to
love God, when they see the miracle that the doctors with God's help
are going to perform on Josie, to heal her, so that by her first
birthday she will be running around ..........................Oh Lord,
I pray! Hear my cry!

By life, I am usually such a communicator, but when hard news comes my
way, I often just need time to process, so feel free to call, e-mail,
or text, but please know that right now, I am learning to deal with
the news....

Please pray for us. and pray that we can sleep this week, pray that we
have wisdom with where we will have the surgery performed, and pray
that Andrew and I can be strong for each other.....

Love,

Sarah (for Andrew and Josie too)



__________________________
To share more about our little princess' name, Josie is a Hebrew name
that comes from Josephine, Josie's name means, "He will enlarge". The
meaning of Josie's name can be interpreted in many different ways.
When we think about her name, we think of passages such as , 1
Chronicles 4:10,where Jabez asks to increase his impact and his
territory. Our hope is that Josie will reach beyond herself to share
God's message, and that God will bring her wherever he needs to so
that she can be that message. As many of you know, Josie was a name
that Andrew and I picked before we were even pregnant, it was a name
for both of us that shared its own significance. When I studied
abroad in Dominican Republic (2003), my host sister's name is Josie.
Josie was (is) one of the most incredible giving person that I ever
met. Our friendship in that short 4 months has impacted my life. My
older host "sister" Ivonne named her little girl, Sarah after me, and
it was always talked about if I had a girl, I would name her Josie to
honor Josie, I always hoped, but was never sure that whoever I married
would be on board with the name. Andrew, first heard the name Josie
from the movie, The Outlaws of Josey Wales, starring Clint Eastwood,
as a big time Clint fan, Andrew has always loved the name Josie!

Mae is a bit of a family tradition. My mom is Lois Mae after her
aunt, I am Sarah Mae after my mom, and now Josie Mae, is Josie Mae
after 3 generations of women. It brings us such joy to be able to have
Josie share the name Mae with her great great aunt Edith, but also my
mom. If there is one thing that I have learned through the 40 weeks of
pregnancy I have learned just a bit about the sacrifices that our
parents, but especially our moms have made for their children from the
minute they take the pregnancy test. Mom, I hope that Josie will learn
the importance of enlarging her world to share God's love, like you
have, and my host sister Josie has done..